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Scandal

by ER

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1.
She Reads Vonnegut 02:27
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If you're wondering about the one thing That I want to do with you right now It's not what you think, I'm afraid to blink You're a card trick, I'm amazed by your reveals Oh yeah, you give me all the feels.... Will this year of first kisses never end? It was winter, I was into her She had drumsticks and a scorpion tattoo At the ball park, when it got dark, I held her hand and then her face was tangent mine Sublime, sweeter than Clementine.... Roller skating, she's debating About getting serious, ain't that how grown-ups act? She's a trollop, and I fall up I get nervous when she walks into the room I'm stunned, she has me outspoken, out-gunned.... She reads Vonnegut, and I want to get Off the shelf and in between her fingertips I don't hurt, I ache But make no mistake When we touch, it's like volcanoes in our blood It boils, my bamboo heart uncoils...
2.
Bons Vivants 02:27
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Scandal: you and me in a corner booth, treating closing time like a suggestion Vertigo and butterflies, just because you put your hand in mine Two cars, side by side in the parking lot, carnations in the back seat while we sing Harmonies to songs we thought might turn into our Courteney Cox connections Emily says the heart wants what it wants Mine wants to return to all the places We were bons vivants Crooked: paths we took to find each other Heartbreak and divorce and graduations Leave the office early, cross the state line on the way home after dark Shelter: all the drama melts away I say the code, you answer with the password Pictures over telephones remind us of the bookstores that we haunt Emily says the heart wants what it wants Mine wants to return to all the places, trace my fingers down your back in all the spaces We were bons vivants
3.
Cupid 02:43
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All of my previous encounters With girls in sundresses and practical shoes Ended prematurely with a walk through a museum Coffee shop coffee and the driving home blues If I had to pick just one superpower I wouldn't choose flight or a bottomless purse Girls in sundresses already keep their distance Turning invisible could only make it worse Let me be endowed with the powers of Cupid It's not so stupid, think of all that I could do Nudge the cheerleader a little closer to the new kid Batman and the Joker on a bicycle for two Jeune fille walking by the Seine in a sundress A well placed arrow with a pheromone tip Would it be unethical, would it be immoral To turn her gaze to me with a quiver in my grip? If Sam Cooke were to write me a letter Begging for assistance with a problem I could fix I would have to spend some time debating my dilemma Would he stop singing once the chemistry clicks? My sidekick scientist would help me make improvements Trade out my bow for a double bandolier Blue state, red state, Moses and Mohammed Manchester United taking Chelsea for a beer Let me be endowed with the powers of Cupid It's not so stupid, think of all that I could do Nudge the cheerleader a little closer to the new kid Putin and Obama on a bicycle for two
4.
The Ballad of Haggis McMuffin 02:36
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Haggis McMuffin loves his whiskey in the morning More than a squirrel loves its nuts I like the sweet potato fries at Lucky Platter [1:1] But I love you more There's a castle on the hill There's a spaceship in the sky Take my hand before the king of fools declares the end, the end is nigh [1:2] Romeo and what's-her-face were briefly lovers Ahab and Moby had a thing [1:3] Mulder and Scully have been valentines for ages You and I longer still There's a castle on the hill There's a spaceship in the sky Take my hand before the king of fools declares the end, the end is nigh I will love you always even when there are no zip codes Or wi-fi[1:4] on demand There's a spaceship on the hill There's a castle in the sky Take my hand before the king of fools declares the end, the end is nigh
5.
Owl, Owl 01:53
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Luke is a little boy He has a business card It says he'll sell you some real estate If you can show him that you have a good credit score Luke is a little boy He has the longest hair Of anyone in this house He'll tell you he's going to Grow up to be a grown-up Luke is a little boy He's not a Democrat Or a Republican This year he's thankful for cupcakes He would like to eat five Luke is a little boy He rides a rocking horse Into the living room Transfers from there to the Metra train He rides the Purple line north Luke is a little boy He likes to listen to Queen on the radio He dances around and around and around Another One Bites The Dust Luke is a little boy He is a songwriter This is the second song he ever wrote, it goes: Owl, owl Jumped on a light Flew in the air Jumped on some sweets Jumped on a candy Went outside Drove to Springfield
6.
Sex-Change Romance 02:39
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Some boys want to drive a fast car Some boys have a need for speed Some boys want to put her into orbit But not me, I have a girl who drives like Richard Petty I park my wagon by her sixty-four Corvette She drives me crazy when she guns it past another yellow I let her lead when we go to a square dance She watches football while I put my hair in curls, I'll take my chances on my sex-change romance I stay at home while she goes drinking with the girls Some girls would rather see an art flick Some girls want the hero dead Some girls want a thought-provoking ending But not me, I have a girl who watches Dirty Harry At Hamlet, she keeps looking for Mel Gibson's ass We barter subtitles for subatomic space invaders I let her lead when we go to a square dance She watches football while I put my hair in curls I'll take my chances on my sex-change romance I stay at home while she goes drinking with the girls Some boys want to be a rock star Some boys want to crash the drums Some boys want to turn it to eleven But not me, I have a girl who listens to Def Leppard I'm making room for Cheap Trick in my Crowded House Three chords from Warrant leave her floating up to ballad Heaven I let her lead when we go to a square dance She watches football while I put my hair in curls I'll take my chances on my sex-change romance She can be the boy as long as I can be the girl
7.
Twins 02:10
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This rainbow tastes funny The sunset looks practically monochromatic Since I went out west Pizza and Stella and Monday Night Football Do nothing to fix my testosterone Now it's all gone wrong that you're gone Nobody here feeds my chocolate addiction Magnetic poetry doesn't just write itself You finish my sentences, top off my beverages But somehow tonight we're as different as twins My v-necks don't fit right, I can't match my business socks References fly over everyone's heads Red, white, and purple, with chevrons and polka dots My flag has been flying at half mast for you A two-hour drive from here into Bellingham, Bus ride to Portland, a flight to L.A. Stop over at Stapleton, cell phones and magazines Soon I will see you but tonight we're as distant as twins
8.
Box of Kittens 02:15
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We must have been doing it wrong, Heather and me on the couch all summer Tried every room in the house; The slide in the park; The roof in the sun But every morning she'd wake up fantastic Heather would swear at the stick and curse the math Tried every trick in the book Acupuncture, gravity, and herbal therapy She turned off the cellphone she kept in her blue jeans She'd read all about the bad radiation Every morning she'd wake up fantastic Heather would swear at the stick and curse the math I tried to be extra, super-supportive I took all my tests, and I brought home a present Heather looked down at her new box of kittens She said, "very cute, but not as cute as what I wanted!" Every morning she'd wake up fantastic Heather would swear at the stick and curse the math Heather wanted someone she could give a name to, Someone who came into her bed in the middle of the night Heather wanted someone she could take a nap with Someone to adapt her ridiculously serious life Someone to sing the oh's in Manic Monday Someone who would one day name her right back We must have been doing it wrong, Heather and me on the couch all winter
9.
Laura & I 03:25
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Laura and I are sweeping out the cobwebs on a Tuesday night She looks the same but I am starting to see her in a different light She asks, "Did you remember to pick up coffee on the way from work?" I answer, "Yes," but I think, "did you notice just how far we've grown apart in these three weeks Laura and I are planting flowers going by the almanac She's digging deep but I'm noticing the walls begin to crack "I think they'll bloom this year" I mutter something back about the rain But what I mean to say is how long did you think we'll go on acting out this tragic play Laura and I are Lying in our bed and we're Lying in our sleep and we're Lying with our tongues behind our lips, behind our backs, behind The walls we've put just to keep each other in Laura and I are tossing frisbee to the upstairs neighbor's dog We still talk every day but it's hardly what you'd call a dialogue She says, "your sister called" "I'll call her back," I yell across the hall But what I mean to say is How am I supposed to do what's worst for us when I'm afraid it's best for me Laura and I are throwing tantrums off the roof because it's fun It's good to laugh with her but now the glow is missing when we're done She says, "let's go and catch that band we saw downtown last Saturday" I go along, but I think Is this going to bring us any closer to the place we always had in mind Laura and I meet up for lunch but we share a breakfast plate She touches me under the table, just like on our second date I say "I like that blouse" She blushes, "This old thing?" But could she really mean to say that she is truly happy with the way that things turned out for us in our fractured fairy tale Laura and I are going to stay together 'till the very end

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released September 17, 2017

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ER

Less country than Robbie Fulks, less rock-and-roll than Steve Poltz, less uninhibited than Rhett Miller, less political than Billy Bragg, less fastidious than Josh Ritter... something for every clever song lover!

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